Called vs. Qualified: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome: the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.
You ever feel like an imposter?
Like you aren't qualified for the position you're currently responsible for and you're just waiting on someone to call you on your bluff?
A few months ago, I started a new position at work as the senior producer of a new morning news show. When I was first offered the position last May, I was super excited. It was actually a dream come true––like who would've thought little ol' me, small town girl Nic would be even thought of for a position like this!
Well...as the days and weeks started to dwindle down, and I started getting closer to the start date of my new position, the reality of me just being "a little ol' small town girl" started to settle in. And I PANICKED.
"Wait...they're serious? They're really not playing? They expect me to fulfill this position? Responsibly? In charge of a whole team? ME?! But...I'm not even that experienced! I've only been at this station for two years, let alone producing news for two years! This kind of position requires like 5-10 years!"
Turns out "they" (my news director and general manager) were SO serious and expected little ol' small town girl, Nic, to not only create, build, and produce this new show, but to make it THE BEST show on our station. There was money attached to this––investors, sponsors, business relationships, heck, people's jobs tied to this show...and all of it came down to me making sure that this show did well.
Thankfully, a little over a month into this show's launch, we're doing amazing!
But, I still find myself every now and again feeling like I'm an imposter.
I grew up in church, and I remember hearing people use the phrase, "GOD has called you" all the time! Early on, I had no idea what that meant.
Like does He call you on the phone...
If Jesus is on the mainline...and I can tell Him what I want, is He going to tell me what He wants?
I just...I'm confused!
Anyways! Obviously, as I got older and grew in my faith, I began to understand what being "called" meant. But I doubted that GOD called me. I remember thinking how could GOD really "call" me to something? What was so special about me? I didn't have any crazy talents or spiritual gifts? Why would the GOD of the universe want to use little ol' me?
Even today, those questions still run through my mind.
I'm shy contrary to popular belief (TEAM INTROVERT!).
I tend to be quiet and to myself in large spaces because it freaks me out.
I'm more insecure than most people are aware of.
And...my 20's have been A MESS.
What do I look like doing leading anybody, let alone being "called?"
GOD using me?
Yeah okay, GOD. Use someone else with way more experience, who prays way more than I do, who doesn't opt for that extra sleep time in the morning in exchange for spending time with you, someone who doesn't doubt you, GOD, someone who actually tithes, who can actually memorize scripture, who can actually get in front of a crowd of people and speak without feeling like the world is spinning...
GOD you want to use somebody? USE SOMEONE WHO ISN'T AN IMPOSTER, LIKE ME!
Because I'm barely getting by.
I'm barley doing this thing.
GOD, I am BARELY qualified!
This sound like you? Because I know for a fact it sounds like me––not even who I used to be, but sometimes who I am now. The difference is GOD has taught me that being "qualified" has nothing to do with being "called."
In 1 Corinthians 1:27-29, Pauls speaks to the church of Corinth, encouraging them that even with their imperfections, GOD can still use them; it's not their qualifications that make them perfect for the call––it's GOD's grace.
The scripture says that GOD chose the foolish things to shame the wise, the weak to shame the strong, the lowly and despised things to nullify the just.
Let's now make that personal:
GOD chose the uneducated to teach,
GOD chose the one counted out and promoted them to a platform,
GOD chose the one with the speech issue to speak before millions,
GOD chose the one forgotten and put them front and center,
GOD chose the immigrant to lead nations,
GOD chose the child born out of wedlock to birth a successful and anointed marriage...
GOD chose me––a small town girl, with plenty of insecurities, a little girl full of hurts from a painful divorce between her parents, a survivor of sexual assault, and a past that's not so squeaky clean like people perceive it to be...BUT GOD.
He chose me.
And He chooses you, too.
Do not count yourself out because GOD is counting you in and people are counting on you to get over your imposter syndrome and answer the call.
Praying that you answer the call fam,
xo, Nic.
