Rollercoaster Faith: The Thrill of Facing Your Fears

Originally written for The Sacred Desk.

Story Time...

Growing up, my family used to visit Six Flags in New Jersey every summer–probably multiple times a summer. There was also an amusement park–Adventureland–not too far from my hometown in New York where we went for almost every summer birthday, graduation party, and "needing to get the kids out of the house because they are irking my nerves" moments.

I loved amusement parks–still do. But I used to be so scared of rollercoasters; I don't really know why; I just panicked at the thought of them. They were so big and loopy and full of screams from mad people who chose to risk their entire lives, lungs, and futures to get on them.

NO, THANK YOU. Never doing that!

Well, by the summer I was about 11 or 12-years-old and tall enough, one of my camp counselors was determined to get me over this fear of rollercoasters. It was like his mission to get me to face my fear and walk into a new life of thrill and amusement awaiting me in every dip and loop of these rides.

I cried. I kicked. I screamed. At the idea alone.

To this day, I'm not quite sure how he tricked into agreeing to this egregious mission. But lo and behold, for our end of the summer trip to Adventureland, I obliged.

We started off with the kid rollercoaster–not too fast, not too crazy on the loops, not too much height. Little dips here and there. I survived.

Great, mission accomplished.

But we weren't done. The kid rollercoaster was just so I could get comfortable and acquainted. Next up, the BIG one–"The Turbulence Coaster." And it certainly lived up to its name.

It was HUGE. I remember it had blue tracks that seemed almost as high as the Empire State building, with these little white and black cars that trailed behind each other. But it was the sound of the track's chain lift motor running so loudly and crankly that actually evoked a panic attack and tears. 

I cried. I kicked. I screamed. This time at the sight of the idea.

Yet, my camp counselor was determined to get me to face this fear; he would not let me leave this park until I had got on this rollercoaster. He would not let me return back home to my parents without the story of how I overcame this fear.

It was like he knew on the other side of this fear was something great waiting for me–like he knew that getting through this was actually for my good; he didn't intend to harm me. While my camp counselor knew that the ride would bring some risks, some jerks and twists here and there, maybe even a little nausea, he still encouraged me to face my fear.

After probably a few more pep talks, he took my hand and waited in line with me. There was silence while we waited, but eventually there we were–on the platform getting ready to board the ride car. Thankfully, the cars were two-seaters because GOD forbid I had to do that alone...NOPE. 

The ride operator straps us in tight. The hydraulics start up. The chain lift motor starts running, and he asks me, "Are you ready?" I nervously said yes...I was so not ready! Then slowly we started moving–heading to the first incline of the ride which seemed like it went on forever. The top finally came and the cars evened out on this little turn before the drop. He then goes, "Put your hands up!" Before I could fully put them up, there was this HUGE drop and I was screaming for dear life! Instantly, I grabbed his arm and screamed even louder. 

The wind (my face was literally falling off!).
The speed (was that even legal?!).
The drops (my cramps have nothing on them drops, sis!).

And the thrill....
The thrill?

Yep, the thrill, fam. Once we returned to the platform I was hit with an unfamiliar emotion. It felt like satisfaction, but so much more. More than accomplishment, more than "I just kicked fear's butt and now am about to go cop these curly cheese fries for my reward," more than "Did I really just do that?" THRILL.

What is thrill?
Thrill is most commonly acclimated with theme parks and "thrill rides" like rollercoasters; thrill actually is "a sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure;" in theory, it's fulfillment. Some synonyms often associated with thrill are INSPIRED, MOTIVATED, EXHILARATED.

Alright, Nic; what the heck does this have to do with GOD, theology, the Word, and my current situation?
Well, it has everything to do with it. Like 11 or 12-year-old me, GOD is calling a lot of us to face some kind of fear right now in this season. Whether it's giving up control and the need to completely understand what's going on during this pandemic, or something more personal, just like my camp counselor was with me, GOD is calling us out of that fear and charging us to face it–FULL ON.

Just like He did Abraham with Issac (Genesis 22), just like He did with David and Saul (1 Samuel), just like He did with Job (Job), and just like He did with Jesus (please refer to the WHOLE GOSPEL of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John and them).

Right now for me, my reality is that my contract at my job is about to end. I could re-sign for a few more years, but my spirit is telling me that my time in the middle of nowhere Maryland is almost up. Yet, after applying for almost 30 jobs, I haven't solidified one position because most news stations are on a hiring freeze right now. So...I'm stuck. And I'm scared, y'all. I'm scared because I don't know what's next, I'm scared because I still have bills that are due, I'm scared because what if my job decides they can't afford to keep me.

I'm scared. There's a lot of uncertainty and I am terrified. I can't leave my job and move back home without a plan (Y'all don't know my mama! We always need a plan in that house!). And quite frankly, I'm beyond the point of wisdom where just making "jumps" for the sake of jumping can be credited to my youth. UH UH!

So, here I am...just like many of you–waiting in line, silent and scared because we don't know what's next. We don't know what's waiting for us. We don't know if we'll even like what's next or if it will be worth it...

But then GOD dropped this into my little spirit: our trials are like rollercoasters. There's a waiting period (FAITH) required before we get on the ride that everyone must endure–even the fast park hoppers have some sort of waiting. There's a ride operator (JESUS) who checks to make sure the ride is safe and secure–functioning properly and occasionally has to call the engineers to fix a malfunction (GOD). Once the operator is given the clear that everything is running swell for the ride by the engineers, they ignite the ride's operating system and the chain lift motor starts running (HOLY SPIRIT)–beginning the ride. There are highs and there are lows, and we can't always anticipate the direction or even the speed of the ride. But if all goes well, by the end of the ride, you'll have experienced thrill–FULFILLMENT.

Too many of us though are getting stuck on the platform. We spend all that time in the waiting line, get through the waiting line, but when it's our time to board the ride, we panic and never get on; we run and miss out on the thrill and fulfillment waiting for us. 

Others of us get stuck in the waiting. We say the line is too long so we opt to go check out another park attraction. And we may experience something else, or we may not. But for the rollercoaster "assigned" to us, we miss out on. And some of us never go back to that rollercoaster.

Then you have the fast park hoppers–those of us who have been in plenty of waiting lines before, have now invested and paid extra money (wisdom and knowledge) to surpass the other park goers waiting in those long lines who may not be aware of all the perks of the park's memberships and goodies (the past lessons of waiting). Yet they still find themselves among the others–getting on the same ride and hoping the waiting was worth it.

Whether you're a fast park hopper or a regular park goer, every single one of us has to endure some kind of waiting. And every single one of us hopes that our waiting will be worth it.

But GOD assures us that our waiting is not in vain plenty of times in scripture (1 Cor. 15:58, Isaiah 40:31). He also instructs us to trust in Him with everything we've got and to lean not on our understanding.

We don't get on a rollercoaster for the first time with the full knowledge of its landscaping or track. We get on the ride for the first time–sometimes hearing so many great things about it–wanting to experience it for ourselves and enjoy the element of surprise.

It may sound cavalier, but we should try approaching our waiting seasons the same way. When a new trial or fear is presented before us, we should try meeting it with the anticipation of thrill and fulfillment–being encouraged that we will experience inspiration, motivation, and exhilaration. We shouldn't seek to fully understand the how (that's the engineer's job-GOD); instead we should wait to approach the platform, trust the operator (JESUS), and get on the ride–knowing that it will all be worth it (Romans 8:28).

Now I'm not saying to never kick and scream, or to question the purpose of your waiting, or even the need to actually get on the ride like I did. Let me assure you that GOD is not intimidated by your humanity nor your emotions...not even your fears. But I encourage you to get on the ride. 

When my camp counselor made the decision to challenge me in facing my fears, I'm not sure if he valued the lesson more than the thrill. In fact, I'm not even sure if he knew more than a decade later that one summer experience would be preaching to me in this very season of my life. What stands out to me more than the experience in and of itself is that after we got off, I wanted to keep going on that rollercoaster and other thrill rides just like it; I had developed a trust in my camp counselor. Furthermore, I wanted to tell every single person I came in contact with later that day that I overcame this fear and conquered it; I survived.

Fam, we will overcome and conquer this...and we will do more than just survive.
May we learn to trust our lifelong "camp counselor"–GOD, and be bold and courageous to tell others of how we overcame.

Praying that you find the thrill and fulfillment that exists even in your waiting season,
xo, Nic.