Right now for me, my reality is that my contract at my job is about to end. I could re-sign for a few more years, but my spirit is telling me that my time in the middle of nowhere Maryland is almost up. Yet, after applying for almost 30 jobs, I haven't solidified one position because most news stations are on a hiring freeze right now. So...I'm stuck.

I first heard about the coronavirus back in late December, maybe early January. At the time, it wasn't being reported as much in the news cycles. But I was reading up on it, because I couldn't help but to notice the urgency.

I'm currently in what I would like to call an "expansion." 2020 has brought a lot of promise for elevation and other supernatural blessings. But with those promises of elevation and supernatural blessings also comes the promise of EXPANSION.

January is known as that starting mark for a lot of things. New Years Resolutions. Gym Memberships. Church Memberships. Relationships. Situationships (Actually...I hope all of your situationships died last year and are never to be revived again; we're too old for this, fam).

I went through some pretty disappointing moments at the top of the year. By March, I just remember feeling like there was nothing 2019 had to offer me; in those short three months, 2019 had taken so much from me–and taking one thing after the next, after the next, I was TIRED. I felt betrayed...and I felt betrayed by GOD.

I think it's safe to say that 2019 hazed the heck out of me. Adulting was most certainly the ghetto, and my impatience was even more ghetto. I went through a financial loss, a family loss, and a relationship loss all within the first three months of the year. By March, I was ready to throw 2019 away and sleep until 2020.

Hmmm...? That was my first response when I first heard Kanye West was going to start doing Sunday Services. Truthfully, I thought it was another social media joke or something, but then I saw a video of one and was like, "OH! That choir is LIT!

Since I was about 13 let's say, I've always wanted a guitar and to learn how to play one. Unfortunately, I settled for the clarinet in elementary school. But still this desire to learn how to play the guitar was on my heart.

Adulting has kicked me hard lately. It has its amazing highs, but in this past season, there have been some pretty harsh lows–with tough disappointments. But what happens when you're in a valley, and not on the top peak of that valley, in the low of the valley and GOD is still calling you?

You ever feel like an imposter? Like you aren't qualified for the position you're currently responsible for and you're just waiting on someone to call you on your bluff?

Why does GOD preserve us? I think there's more to His protection and preservation of us when it comes to certain spaces, people, and things than just making sure that we don't "go bad."

When I was younger, I was the "ugly duckling" among my friends. I didn't get the boys, I didn't wear the latest fashions, I barely knew how to put lip gloss on so makeup was definitely not a thing, and I didn't really know how to straighten my hair until I was a junior in high school, so my go-to hair style was a slick back bun for most of middle school through high school.

This season is often one decorated with lots of pretty lights and lots of good CHEEEERRRR. And as it is dubbed "the MOST wonderful time of the year" for most, for some of us, it can be a dark one. The holidays remind some, even believers, of loss and it triggers the emotions of grief.

Within the body, I've always been skeptical since I was a young on the titles of "prophet" and "apostle." Though I firmly believe these are callings bestowed from God, what gives us the authority to appoint ourselves to such positions, when it's almost impossible to fully comprehend the immense responsibilities and influence tied to these positions while being relatable and maintaining your humanity?

During my sophomore year, I met one of the most caring, challenging, loving, and affectionate men I had ever met. We clicked instantly. I felt like it was fate when I met him formally and found out he was single. Slowly, but surely, we began spending a lot more time together and started having really interesting conversations. It wasn't long before I found out he wasn't a believer.

There is no doubt that the time we are living in is probably one of the most, if not THE MOST, politically charged eras in all of mankind.

One night when I was maybe a junior or so in high school, my dad took my sister and I on a random ride to this hole in the wall dumpling spot in Brooklyn. We parked outside and I remember dreaming with my dad--we talked about what I wanted for my future. I told him I wanted to be a producer.

I'll be the first to admit–I LOVE INSTAGRAM. But what would happen if "the gram" shut down!?

I can't really remember when she first started saying this, but my mama used to tell me all the time as a teenager, "Nicole, don't settle." then, she was referring to my dating choices and she had every right and concern to repeat this motto. If I'm being completely honest, I've been not so great at picking acceptable suitors...even now.

Post-Ferguson there has been a movement sprung up out of the Black Lives Matter organization that has made hashtags into small groups, and social media references into lengthy litanies of dialogue regarding what it means to be #WOKE.